This morning, I walked past a sign
in front of the Lululemon yoga apparel store in downtown San Francisco.
The sign said, "Do one thing a day that scares you."
Really? Just one thing?
But what really scares me
is this kind of precious, oh-so-self-conscious marketing parading as something
else. The harder companies try to appear "authentic", the more
phony-baloney they seem – and the more manipulated I feel.
Well, Chip, you certainly got my
attention with that sign of yours. I'm sure it was meant to prompt some
long overdue introspection – and send me running into your store to buy a
$100 hoodie. Instead, it immediately set off my bullshit detector.
I wanted to run as far away from Lululand as I could get.
Frankly, I resent having a retailer
that sells overpriced yoga pants and sports bras doling out unsolicited advice
on how to find enlightenment and improve self-esteem (you really want to boost
my self-esteem? Try raising the waistlines on those damned pants).
What I didn't realize was that the
cheeky advice on the store sign is only the tip of the Lululemon
self-improvement iceberg. When I checked their website, I discovered an entire
Lululemon "Manifesto". For sheer wacky-ness,
the Manifesto is the motherload – a splendid mishmash of the practical and the
downright wierd.
"Sweat once a day to
regenerate your skin."
"Drink FRESH water
and as much water as you can."
Those seem harmless enough.
After all, if you sell yoga clothes, it makes perfect sense to espouse
tips about health, exercise and stress-reduction.
"Communication is
COMPLICATED. We are all raised in a different family with slightly
different definitions of every word."
They've also included some
helpful retirement planning advice:
There's this radical notion (inspired, no doubt, by a fortune cookie or Suze Ormon):
And this lulu of an insight:
Yogis tell us to "live in the
question". After reading the Lulu Manifesto, my only question is:
"WTF?!?"
For all I know, maybe the Luluheads
embrace this BS with the same devotion they have for the Lulu Groove Crop
Pants ($86) and the Push Ur Limits Tank ($52). Or, maybe
they just enjoy the clothes and the cachet.
As for me, I have a sudden need to
breathe deeply and chant very quietly, "Spare me. Spare me.
Spare me."
But hey, at least I did one scary
thing today: I took a closer look into the dark soul of Lululemon. Be
afraid. Be very afraid.
Oh, I love your cynicism! Of course there are no Luluheads here in Hooterville. There IS a YOGA class at the Y, but most of those gals are wearing Nascar T-shirts. Lulu has evidently been very successful in targeting those who are need philosophical structure in their lives and can't seem to provide it for themselves. Common sense, like drinking water and breathing, is a rare commodity these days. Thank goodness for Lulu for bringing it back.
Good Post. :)
Posted by: adchick | July 31, 2010 at 06:22 AM
Thanks, adchick. It would be refreshing to see a Nascar T-shirt or two around these parts. Or maybe not (isn't there a happy medium between Redneck and Urban Precious?).
Posted by: Marcie Judelson | July 31, 2010 at 09:09 AM
I live in a small town in Idaho and I'd say although we have a bit more Nascar on the scale than urban precious, there are what I would term "common sense" types in greater numbers here than in many other areas we've lived. Loved your post as I can't stand the platitudes used by corporate America in ever increasing dosages either. First time reading your blog today and subscribed immediately. I can tell we're going to be great friends - thx.
Posted by: Lisa Zack | October 01, 2010 at 03:19 PM
Thanks so much, Lisa. Really appreciate your nice comments. Sorry I haven't been posting very often lately...I've been too busy working.
I hope I can find more time soon - there is certainly no shortage of corporate BS to inspire me!
Posted by: Marcie Judelson | October 01, 2010 at 04:39 PM
I can't wait to share your posts with Joe. This is the nuts and bolts of good comedy.
Posted by: Maria-Elena | February 14, 2011 at 11:20 AM